Starting Over in Life: A New Year a New Start

All of us have probably reached points in our lives where no matter what we are trying, it doesn’t seem to be working. We become unhappy, discontent, and we know something needs to change, drastically. The life we thought we would live is a glimpse of what our real life reveals. All of the effort, time, and energy spent seems to only surmount to small victories and perhaps bigger failures. We want so much from life – from our careers, from our relationship, and from ourselves. The hardest part of wanting it all is finding the balance that works for your life. So after weighing all the different options on how to change our lives, maybe the best option that we have is actually starting over in life.

Hitting rock bottom is a hard whether it is a relationship ending, a career path that led us a stray, disappointment with ourselves for bad decisions we’ve made. For some people to make a change though, hitting rock bottom or close to it, is necessary. For me, although my husband and I were finally back together after being in a long distance relationship for two years, I felt like I lost myself which not only affected me, it negatively affected our relationship. I was no longer in an environment that supported my dreams, ambitions, hopes and hence my personal growth. I was on an emotionally roller coaster as I tried to understand who I am, what exactly I wanted, and how to create a more meaningful life.

The struggles that I faced helped me realize the path that I wanted to take, but the caveat was it required starting over. This included moving back home with my essentials, being in a long distance relationship once again, finding a new job, focusing on my writing and life projects (really this time), rekindling lost relationships with family and friends… I began to fully realize the reasons why starting over was a necessity for me and why it was my best option.

WHY STARTING OVER SOMETIMES IS THE BEST OPTION:

1. Starting over allows you a chance to look back at your mistakes and leave them in the past as you move forward to the future. All of us make mistakes, some more life changing than others, but the key is to acknowledge them, learn from them, and then lock them tightly in an imaginary box in your mind, and never be tempted to open the box again. Definitely a hard thing to say but even harder to do; I admit this even for myself.
2. Starting over is a chance to establish good habits that contribute to the future that you envision. After being through a bad period in life, it’s very difficult to not fall back into the habits or actions that led you there. Establishing positive habits, even just one at the start, can be the difference between feeling helpless to feeling empowered.
3. Starting over is something you aren’t doing alone, other people are willing to help you but you have to ask. It might be embarrassing or hard to explain your situation on why you are starting over in life, but understand if you are trying to move forward, you have to do things you don’t want to do, but know you need to do. For me, I swallowed my pride knowing that I have a masters degree in business and needed help finding a job. I am reaching out to family, friends, anyone that might have a connection. My close friends and family know the details behind why, but for others I told them long story short, I am looking for a job, if you could help me great. I am sure this will not be the last time I ask for help and that’s okay because I am willing to open up myself because the potential benefits are greater than closing myself in.

I am not making a new years resolution to start over;  I am making a life resolution to take risks and step off the broken path. Starting over is scary, but for me, there is no other option so I have to make it work.

Quotagraphy photo credit: Krissy Venosdale
Featured photo credit: Matthew Fang