Stop Being Miserable, Please.
Being miserable sucks. I know it and most people out there know it. The feeling of what the hell am I doing with my life and why do I feel like total crap? We know that all around us people are happy, even those that seem to be facing unbelievable circumstances, but they find a way to make it through with a smile so why can’t we?
I think that more people struggle within ourselves than maybe people know or that we show. We are made to put on a facade that everything is okay although we know it’s not and we wonder when it finally will be. I’m going to be honest, I’ve been through these periods of misery and still go through them. I sometimes feel like I am on a roller coaster of highs and lows and that I can’t get off. Let me off! I yell to myself… I have to force myself to get off even though it might seem safer to stay on, but how long do I stay on the ride before the cycle repeats itself over and over? But once you get off the track, you finally start to see everything all around you instead of just what is straight ahead. What gets me through these miserable times is a mixture of hope, time, and people.
“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”
- Oscar Wilde
Hope is knowing that each day, we can make a small step towards a better life. Start with something little like writing down your daily frustrations so you can start to understand what is truly bothering you. Once you know the triggers of your misery, think about what you can do to either remove these triggers or lessen their occurrence. Question – do you know something we all had since we were little and never lost? Imagination. Even as we grow up, we still imagine what life would be like if …we got that job, found true love, traveled the world, etc. Start imagining a better you. Imagine you smiling. Imagine you succeeding. Imagine you failing but pulling pushing yourself back up with your own two hands. Even if you only took steps that made yourself better by .001% – it’s still a better you.
“With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.”
- Chinese Proverb
Time heals a lot. When something seems so momentous and so terrible, give it time and it will get better. I say that it will get better but I don’t think you will completely heal. For a long period of my life, my mantra was patience is the key and this saying is still part of my mindset. Bitter memories or events will always be in your mind, it’s just a matter of how much you are willing to let them hinder or affect your life. I admire people who have endured unbelievable hardship and who have challenged themselves to turn their lives around for themselves and for their loved ones. Their actions can affect and inspire complete strangers without them even knowing. They gave themselves time to heal and time to grow into the person whose potential finally started to bloom no matter how late in life.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
- Dr. Seuss
Open yourself to spend time or just talk with people even though it might be the last thing you want to do when you are miserable. Being around others makes you start to realize how lucky you are to have people who care for you, who would be happy to help you if you just ask. Maybe you just need to vent and don’t care for their help, then tell them that and I’m sure they’ll listen as you vent away. Someone out there cares for you, even if it’s someone you’ve never met before. Just remember, sometimes you have to be the one that reaches out to people to start that meaningful conversation.